Are women’s sexual needs being ignored by the pharmaceutical industry? Is this sex discrimination? On the contrary, it seems that Big Pharma is inordinately consumed by a desire for another blockbuster drug – this time one to increase women’s desire for sex. The problem seems to be that Big Pharma doesn’t quite get it. They don’t quite understand what women want. And they certainly don’t understand why women often don’t want sex as much as their male partners would like them to.
The main reason that the FDA has yet to approve a drug for female sexual dysfunction is that in test after test, the drugs, which can have serious side effects, do not outperform the placebo. It appears that asking women to make a commitment to change, to think about sex daily and to keep a diary of their sexual experiences actually increases desire and the frequency of having sex. It doesn’t matter whether the pill they are taking is a placebo or an active medication.
So here’s the thing. If you want to increase your sexual desire there’s a few things you can do:
- Think about sex, every day. Make it a ritual. Let yourself have a sexual daydream. Let the sexual daydream simmer in your mind.
- When you have sex, let your mind linger on the experience. What was nice about it? What could make it better the next time?
- Don’t have bad sex. You know, the “hurry up and get it over with” type of sex. Too much bad sex will inevitably and understandably reduce your desire.
- Think about the conditions that make sex possible. Do you need more sleep? Do you need help with household chores or childcare? Do you need to feel more connected to your partner? Do you want romance, fun, sensuality? When you figure this out – do what you can to make these conditions possible and ask your partner to do his share.
Low sexual desire in women is rarely caused by physical problems. When it is, it is often a side effect of a medication. So, let’s focus on the real issues. Most sexual desire problems are related to the relationship, the quality of the sex, stress, and cultural expectations. And there’s no pill for these.
You can read more about increasing sexual desire without medication in my book Reclaiming Your Sexual Self.